I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
