i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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