Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
