it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
