The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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