If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
