forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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