I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
