Will you blow on my dice?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
