A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
