is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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