i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
