I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
