He told me they were just razor bumps!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
