So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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