Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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