Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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