is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
