So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
