she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
