some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
