my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
