Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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