If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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