Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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