so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize