My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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