Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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