puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
