Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
