I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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