the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
