she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My feet surprised me
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