whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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