He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
