I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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