I wish I only lived at night.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
