she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
