am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
