I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
