I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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