I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
