can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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