I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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