the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
