I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
