Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My bed smells like the plague
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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