Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
