Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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