So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
