well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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